Am I Ready?
Thursday, November 30th, 2006Am I ready? Readiness for what kind of thing? It’s the readiness to settle down my entire life with someone else. In these few months, especially after my birthday month, which is after 12th of September, this question is keep popping up into my mind. I’m 24 this year, next year will be turning into 25, getting older year by year. My friends, one by one have settled down their life with their significant other half, some even have their children and live with full happiness at least for now, and I’m sincerely hope that they can be last forever and ever. It’s really made me feel so envy with their marriage life and also made me start to think of mine as well.
Marriage life? I think it will be quite new and fresh to me, it’s totally another new stage of lifestyle for me. I have many sorts of imaginary scenes for my future marriage life. Imagination is always sweet and happy. But, it’s cruel to remind myself that reality will always much more different than our dreams. No doubt, this situation could be happened to everyone in every marriage. In order that, for me, I will always advise myself not to expect or imagine too much on my future marriage, this is to avoid any dissatisfaction or comparison that could create many complaints and demands on/from your other half in future. Just let everything go naturally.
Have you ever heard about a famous proverb like "Getting Married is the life of starting to step into the tomb" (This is what I heard from some of my male friends) and I wonder how true is this. Most of the cases, they claim that their spouse (which mean women or us) will be totally controlling their freedom, suspecting every single things/movements or controlling their financial ability after getting married. In fact, when there is something related with relationship, definitely there will be occurrence of jealousy. We are human being, we have our own feeling/reaction/preference on every kind of things/events. Anyway, to avoid this kind of situation, just try to minimize the chance of making your partner feeling unsecured or suspecting you by showing your faithful heart and always keep your promise to them. Well, for me, I never believe there will be no argument, disagreement or dishonest at all in a marriage. For sure, the minor one we still able to handle with care, but as if we are facing the serious matter? What’s our reaction? How could we handle it without hurting anyone? Especially when an unlucky party is facing a dishonest partner or even a violence partner, I think the entire marriage life will be suffering, isn’t it?
Study through some of the reports/articles regarding marriage nowadays, it seems that marriage can be broken up so easily, relationship now is soft like a beancurd, with any harder pressure, it will be broken or burst up like nothing. But for me, I have seen quite a number of examples for successful relationship or even successful long distance relationship. Who said long distance relationship does not exist? Advance technologies nowadays can make many things become reality. Sometimes, broken up with some reasons that made other party seems or feels like very real or truth or guilty is just an excuse for somebody. Personally, I can’t stand with this kind of people, simply give any excuse to break up with another party who treat them very nicely and did not make any fault.
And, for me, I never demand much from my partner, I know no one will be perfect in this world. Since I was young, I’m only looking for the guy with good personality and can treat me nicely. Mr. Right / Mr. Perfect to me are very simple. He only needs to be understanding, tolerant, can bright up my mind when I’m down, mature or knowledgeable that can give/teach me useful information/advise when I lost, responsible and always keep his promise, know when to be serious and when to be playful, loyalty, hardworking and always looking to go forward or improvement on himself, friendly and piety to both of our friends and family; and the most important is he must adore me like the precious one and always put me at his first priority. I do not think it is hard right? And, I never looking for the guys who are rich and proud, good appearance, flirty and wild guys who like to hang out other places rather than home, always put his friends at the first priority and never think of their partner’s feeling, strong gentleman egoism, no ambitious to their future life, stubborn and bad temper, satyr, stingy and not generous, unfaithful/dishonest, violence and etc. This is because I am not tough enough, I really scared to get hurt from any relationship. In other words, I only choose to fell into a relationship that I feel secured and safe. I never want to test or try on a relationship, once I attach with somebody, I really meant to be forever and long lasting unless there’s something occurred which can make us separated. I do not like to fool with love and I expect the others treat me the same as well, I do not like anyone getting hurt in a relationship unless there’s some incidents happened between two parties.
Am I too pessimistic on marriage? I’m not! I’m just expressing some of my ideas regarding marriage nowadays. I think I should be optimistic to my future marriage as if my future spouse still sticks to the current one. I believe that he’s definitely a nice guy who can let me to rely on and feel at ease to share my entire life with. Although I have been so desperate to get married in last few months, I know I’m still not ready yet. Getting married is easy, only there are tons of things we have to face and handle later on, if there’s no proper arrangement or management in a marriage, the worst ending will be DIVORCED. It needs lots of commitments to make a marriage successful. I’m concerned about those commitments, it isn’t a game anymore, we have to pay full responsibility for everything we are going to do or we have done. There is no more one man business but it is involving two parties. Hence, the tension and pressure from a marriage is not a joke, it is quite a heavy burden for those who are not ready and not planned properly yet. As a matter of fact, I have my own arrangement and planning now, frankly speaking, marriage is still under my planning now, it’s still a long list to go before I can step into a marriage. So, let me achieve some of my planning or dreams first before I can think about it. Marriage is very important to me, once decision made, it will be whole life decision, I think I need more time to reconsider and plan for it. Dear! I hope you can wait for me for another few more years, I know that you will understand that we need to work harder for our career in these few years to achieve more things, I know that you will understand that we need more preparations for a good quality future especially on financial support at this moment. I know you are being so understanding, patience and tolerance to my unpredictable emotional all the way I started my social university. I’m learning, try to learn as many things and gain as much as knowledge for myself. You told me I changed so much after worked, YES! I DID!, perhaps I think this is a nice change for me compared with the previous me. I know you will always support me and reassure me when I need someone beside me and listen to my every single ups and downs. I know I’m not a good partner to you because I’m not perfect at all, but try to accept every single things of mine, no matter the goods or the bad one, I always hope that I’m the unique one and the one and the only one in your heart. I do always pray that you will never compare me with the other girls in this world and you will always love me in this way. I WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR SACRIFICE TO ME IS WORTHY AND ALWAYS VALUABLE IN FUTURE. I WILL PAY BACK TO YOU WITH DOUBLE TRIPLE TIMES. I WILL ENSURE THAT YOU WILL HAVE A VERY HAPPINESS FAMILY IN FUTURE, I WILL DO IT FOR YOU & MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE.
