*** My Woman SeCreTsSs ***

Oh my! Time flies very fast, I have been an OL for one-and-a-half year. I had been gone through all the sadness, happiness, frustrated, angerness, excited at my workstation. Can you imagine that? No matter how, even though everything had passed, only left those sad + sweet memories to me nowadays. So, Could I said that I gained some experiences? YES! OF COURSE! I’m working more than an assistant would do. I’m totally MULTI-PURPOSE PACKAGE, employed me for a position, but I will do everything for you if you instruct me or order me to do. I’m a MARVELLOUS personal assistant to some of them. But, should I feel proud of that? What for? Because in other words, I’m more likely work as a SERVANT???

Why should I said that? Though I’m working for a company, but I have to manage things from houses, 2 shipyards and main office, eventhough some of them are out of my job scopes. But, what to do? I have to accomplish all my stuffs, and somemore, I tried my best to learn something from everything I done. That’s a good chance for me to learn, isn’t it? I never complaint, never voiced out when I felt extremely fatigued, indisposed, exhausted to the office. Why? Because I know those are my jobs. Even though I want to show out my feeling, the first option that I wouldn’t choose is my colleagues (some of them only), there are too many internal politicians & backstappers inside. Once they seen a thing (especially those unfavourable things), no need to wait, 1 hour after, you can hear all these and those rumours in the office. They more likely to see you doing something wrong/faulty rather than lending you a hand. This’s what I called, they like to "watch nice movies" (commonly,in mandarin, it will be translated as "有好戏看"). I HATE IT seriously! Everytime, I’m out there trying to give you a hand, but sometimes never expect them to return to you the same but in the opposite way.

So, what I can say is "Not working hard then you deserve all the appreciation and benefits". Good benefits offered to me or not, I won’t care so much. But, I rather to get revere & appreciation from you. APPRECIATION is the best motivation to make me work harder, happily & commit to work for longer. I’m a human being. I need some compliments & motivation to work. Once again, I have to say, I’m only a human being, never expect me not to make any mistake, I’m also learning from mistake. Frankly speaking, everybody will gain knowledge & experience from mistakes, everybody will only grow up from the mistakes that they had made. When I done something satisfactory, never receive any compliment, but once I did something wrongly, they will always remember that YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE, YOU ARE DULL / FOOLISH, YOU ARE IRRESPONSIBLE. Here’s the unfair raise up to me! I’m not deserve to all of these unfair appraisals.

I wish I could tell you that, you are very emotional recently. You are very easily to get anger and frustrated with small matters. And, I’m one of the victims. Did you ever notice that, when you are emotional, you will lose your temper & reprove others in a very rude way? You will use those impertinent words to others & never think of others feeling. I’m trying to be endurance to you all these days. I always solace myself by telling myself "You are only in bad mood, so I have to be tolerance to you all the time". I thought that you will be fine after a few days or a few weeks. But, NO!!! My prediction is wrong. You are not the one I knew from the beginning anymore. You are delicate, decent, considerate, thoughtful, sensible and rational all the time. But, now, you are changing. Your changes made me feel so unpredictable, made me lost and moody too as I have to conjecture your thinking, emotion and feeling all the time. I start feeling that I’m discomfort and perturb to talk to you. I’m feeling unnerve to communicate with you now. I start feeling that I do not know how should I do now. Should  I give you a call? A SMS? Or ask someone to pass a message to you? When I not informing you something & you found out, you will feel irritation. But once I am informing you, then you censuring me for being foolish to my works. And then, you start to call and scream at those related persons. You made me feel embarrassing, despicable and abominable to those persons. I have ever thought of to try to evade myself & not to show up in the office to avoid any argument or misunderstanding from them. So, what am I supposed to do and react? I really don’t know!!! I fed up with these conditions. I wish I can cry out myself in an unknown place now. I need a long relaxation at the moment, I’m feeling the tension now. Could I?

So, who want to accompany me & be my tourist guide for a vacation in Thailand? Hong Kong? Taiwan? I have to clarify that, I NEED AN AMUSEMENT & FUN ACCOMPANIST as I need to relax my mind now. I need some fun & enjoyment moment from outside. Please kindly calculate the budget for me of the abovementioned places as I am totally have no idea with that. For those who are willing to be my accompanist, I will extend my FULL THANKFULNESS to you. I will appreciate it so much.

Ok!!! I’m going to stop my long long blog now.My emotion is getting better slowly. Wish me all the best for the coming days. God bless me!

Terms & Conditions: The entry above is only applies to some of *them*, but not all of *them*. Please kindly take note. *Them* is referring to my colleagues.